The Chinese Postal system is not my best friend.
Not even close.

Let me just tell you one recent story…

I needed to send 2 pieces of paper to two different people. However, these papers a rather time sensitive, so I wanted to make sure they didn’t take eons to arrive.

One of my wonderful students, Shelly, accompanied me to the post office closest to the school.
We arrived at 4.40 pm. We were told that yes, they can send each of the envelopes for a shockingly low 3 yuan. However…they would take about 2 months to arrive.
So scratch that. The woman at the post office says that there are two more options. The next one cost 20 yuan or so and will take maybe 15 days, but maybe 1 month. OK, so 15 days is good, but 1 month is absolutely not acceptable. The last option she said will cost 100 and will be there in 10 days. That sounds much better. Pricey (for two pieces of paper!) but the timing is much better.

Then, it turns out that this post office actually doesn’t do that. So the woman called the other post office across town and asked them to stay open for us.
We grabbed a ’san ma’ (3-wheeled local transportation) and rushed over.
It took an hour to get the paperwork and get it translated and sorted out. Seriously. It should not have taken that long. Finally, they enter them into the computer system and take them to be sent out.
He turned to me and said “si bai wu shi yuan”

What???!! 450 yuan? You have got to be kidding. (you can google it to see the exchange rate. That is quite a steep price for just some papers, especially to someone whose bank account is not what anyone would consider ‘full’)

We are now past the point of no return. I can’t get my letters back, so I have to pay.
Embarrassingly, I didn’t have enough cash on me (who just carries that around anyway?) and I hadn’t brought my ATM card. Shelly offered to lend me the money and I had to accept her offer since it was my only option. (I did promptly pay her back the next day, for the record)

So, that is just one of my terrible moments with the Chinese Postal Service. I could honestly fill a book with annoying circumstances (like arguing with the employees that I don’t care if the vase breaks, I’m going to send it anyway because I am not going to lug the heavy thing home in a suitcase! or the time that they wouldn’t let me send a CD but the next time I sent chicken feet to the US without a problem)

Anyway, I’m not the only one who has these problems.
My fellow Amity teacher wrote a little poem about it for the 2005 Amity Echo (a newsletter for all of us out here) and she very kindly allowed me to share it with you.

Enjoy:

Ode To The U.S. Postal Service

When listing what I love the most,

I won’t include the China Post!

As Christmas gifts away must go,

The box I need tamen meiyou!

Nor can I pack the box myself;

It must be done by a Chinese elf.

I pay my mao for the manifold;

If I fill it wrong, the clerk will scold!

I took for granted, but now bewail,

The convenience of the U.S. mail!